I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
