Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
