went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
