You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize