Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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