I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
