Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
