ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
