whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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