i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your dad touched me again.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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