Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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