the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
