You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize