he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
