I hope mine doesn't look like that
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize