Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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