then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
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