Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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