Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
They have beer where we have blood.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
