we have pet lesbian snakes
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
