I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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