Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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