six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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