there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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