dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize