Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think my tv is drunk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
