I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
