I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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