Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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