Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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