she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
