New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
