Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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