Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
