He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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