So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
