Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
