Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
