i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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