he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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