college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
