yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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