my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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