I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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