You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
