We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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