Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
