If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
