i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
be right there i have to get my cape
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
