I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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