seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize