some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
