She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
