last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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