Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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