I have demons in me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You have to summon your inner elephant
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
