let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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