I heard we made out
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
