i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
