I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize