I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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