Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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