Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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