if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
