jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
