What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
