I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
farters have to be the big spoon...
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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