I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
