Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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