are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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