So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
