Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
