See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
