bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
